Red Faction: Ballerina

3 05 2009

re-designed box art by Tara

Why? Because the box was done in pastel pink and orange. It was begging to be made into something girly.

red_faction_ballerina

brought to you courtesy of MS Paint





Hotel Dusk: Room 215 for DS review

2 05 2009

a review by Tara

Hotel Dusk: Room 215I would like to start this review off by saying I think I only played Hotel Dusk for a half hour before quitting, but I feel like it’s all I need for  doing  an accurate review. To make up for the lack of actual time I spent in game, I’m going to tell the whole story from when I bought the game to setting it down in frustration. I think you’ll understand.

This all began after the release of Saint’s Row 2. My Xbox360 was taken over by boyfriend who had found himself attached to the controller. Unable to play any of my 360 games, I was left alone with only my DS to comfort me. Sadly, I had a severely limited game selection. Promising myself that I would not let my 360 being commandeered ruin my day, I set out to the nearest 24 hour Walmart to see what I could pick up.

*Flash forward 20 minutes*

As I stood in front of the glass case full of DS games I found myself in yet another pickle… What game do I buy? I could see Animal Crossing and felt the glow of a title I loved on the Gamecube… no matter how nerdy that made me… but I kept looking. Another title that caught my eye soon after…. Hotel Dusk: Room 215. I asked the clerk to let me see it and Animal Crossing… I read the back of the cases and was quite intrigued by the description of Hotel Dusk… a mystery novel of a game… investigate a hotel room where wishes come true… It sounded rather interesting to be honest. After much consideration (and buy that I mean I realized I had enough money to buy both) I made my purchases.

I returned home to find my boyfriend still sitting on the floor, listening to his SR2 character singing “The Final Countdown” with the radio. Knowing that the 360 wasn’t going to be free for me to play anytime soon, I plopped myself down on my couch, opened up Hotel Dusk, and began playing.

My first impressions were very positive. You held the DS sideways like a book, which I thought was kind of cool… you know… mystery novel game… holding it like a book… I thought it was clever. My next observation was the art style, which I absolutely loved. It didn’t have much color but was done in a sketchy, art book fashion.

The beginning started out with a lot of reading as the game laid out an insane amount of back story for the main character. The year is 1979, as Kyle Hyde, disgraced former New York Detective, arrives at the Hotel Dusk. Kyle is now a salesman for some company and is there for some business trip or something…. It wasn’t holding my attention very well for me to remember the details. I felt like I was doing too much reading to really get in touch with my character… It was almost like I resented him for having such a complicated past that I had to reach so much about. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to play the game!

Finally after endless paragraphs of  boring details, I could finally control my character, and was able to explore the hotel a little…. very little. Kyle literally walks up to the front desk and triggers a conversation with the hotel owner that I had to read. … an exciting conversation, too. Let me recap:

“My name is Kyle Hyde.”
“Your name is Kyle Hyde?”
“Yeah, I’m Kyle Hyde.”
“We had a guest last week named Kyle Hyde.”
“You had a guest last week named Kyle Hyde?”
“Yeah, he had the same name as you, Kyle Hyde.”

You get my point. At the end of the riveting conversation, I had the choice to ask him questions about what he had said earlier (in case I wanted more information about whatever… ug). It’s clearly not necessary though since he already repeated everything at least twice.  When I was  done speaking with the hotel owner, I began to walk through the hotel to my room. I controlled Kyle as he turned the corner and started to walk up the stairs. As I took a few steps up,  a little girl sitting with a half finished puzzle started crying…. Then, are you ready for this? I started another conversation, full of repetitive dialogue that seemed to last forever. This conversation is even worse than the first one. Although the first conversation was repeated four times, I at least left with some information. When I was done speaking with the little girl , I felt like she needed a swift kick in the ass for firstly, playing on the stairs and for secondly, crying over a puzzle. Finally, this conversation ended and I continued down the hall to get to Kyle’s room….

I bet you thought I was going to make it to the room didn’t you? Well, I don’t. I happened to run into the bell hop who promptly started another conversation.  Once I was done with the bell hop another giant “READ ME!” text box appeared as soon as I got into my room. The phone had started to ring, Kyle answered it and the dialogue boxes immediately followed. This is as far as I got in the game before I gave up. Let me recap… I played for a half hour and my character went from the hotel lobby to his room after encountering a minimum of four conversations. All I could do was set  my DS down and wonder if I had a copy of “And Then There Were None” that I could read instead.

What’s really great was my boyfriend told me it couldn’t be nearly as bad as I made it out to be… played the game for a half hour… then set it down on our coffee table. He simply said, “That was a lot of reading. I’m done.”

This game is advertised as a novel, and that is really what it is. It is a semi-interactive murder mystery that you read. If you want a game to read, this might be for you. Although, I really doubt you would like it. A good murder mystery isn’t going to have you reading the same thing twenty times.

Final call:

Good idea. Pretty game. Horribly executed. Horribly boring.

<insert fail picture here>





Being a Girl Gamer FAQ- Revisited

2 05 2009

a follow up by Tara

So a while back I wrote Being a Girl Gamer: FAQ. All I did was list the questions I get asked most frequently as a girl who plays video games. One of them was “Do you have a Myspace?” A lot of people have questioned if guys actually send me messages asking me this, so here is the proof. Yes, it happens. Here is a picture (sorry for the poor quality, I’m lazy so I snapped a picture of it with my phone) of a message sent to me.





Fable 2 Review

2 05 2009

a review by Tara

Fable 2 boxDid you like Fable? If so, you’ll like Fable II because it’s Fable + a dog. The End.

Alright, I guess I could write a little more than that, so here we go…

This Fable takes place 500 years after  its predecessor. Heroes have faded into legend and the character  from the last Fable has faded into obscurity… and I’m not sure if he is ever mentioned now that I think about it. The game begins with our classic childhood tutorial, followed by a little bit of story a little bit of story, then adulthood. It pretty much follows the blue print of the original to a T.

Fable II is a entertaining game. If you liked Fable, chances are, you’ll like this one too. Not too much has changed from one to the next, but the changes that were made were pretty cool… well, could have been cool. For every element of awesomeness that Lionhead Studios tried to add to Fable, they made something else incredibly lame. For example:

Awesomeness:You can now choose to be a woman hero.
Lameness: Not only will your character probably look butch, but several women hairstyles clip into the weapons your hero is carrying. Now I don’t mean mildly clipping, I mean the hair looks possessed. It will constantly jump around the back of your hero’s head and can actually be quite distracting. It was almost like watching my ponytail do an Irish jig.

Awesomeness:
You have more clothing options, with more dyes.
Lameness: The clothes don’t normally fit the character properly. Robes looked exceptionally horrible on women.

Awesomeness: You can now have kids.
Lameness: The family itself is incredibly buggy. It’s not uncommon for your wife to go missing and your children to become stuck in unresponsive idle animations for days at time. It happened to me… twice.

Awesomeness: There’s a bigger map.
Lameness: The game needed more story missions. To be honest, I beat the game on accident. I didn’t realize how close I was to the end of the game when I went into the final mission. If I had known, I would have done more side missions first. To make things worse, the final boss battle was… well… nothing. I don’t want to go into too much detail for those of you who haven’t gotten that far, but I was disappointed.

Overall, Fable II is an okay game. Although I constantly found myself frustrated with little things here and there, it held my attention for the most part. I would recommend this to anyone who needed a light game to pass the time. I would not recommend this to anyone who will be annoyed by the fact that you cannot shut the door to your house, so villagers will wander in and out as they please.

Final Rating: B- / C +  Average, but entertaining





7 Awesome Flash Games

2 05 2009

a fun list by Tara

There is at some point in everyone’s life a time when they are bored. For many of us, this time comes while we are at school, or work… and unable to get beacon of hope known as our living room, where our XBox360s, Wiis, PS3s and other home consoles lie waiting. When these moments strike, there is only one option- flash games. Listed below are seven flash games (listed in no particular order) that can save you and your sanity if needed.

5 Minutes to Kill Yourself
So, you are an officer worker drone who is sick of it all. Knowing there is only one way out, the player is challenged to kill their character in five minutes with the use of the things found in the office. This includes everything from the stapler, to the God-fearing co-worker. Although the idea of a game where the player is told to kill themselves sounds horrid, it’s done in a cartoony fashion so it ends up being hysterical. 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself 2: Family reunion was recently made as well. I haven’t played it yet, but if it is as amazing as the original, it’s a must.

Amateur Surgeon
Ok, picture Trauma Center but with a pizza delivery guy instead of doctors, a back alley instead of a hospital, and random tools you have in your garage in place of medical instruments. This, my friends, is Amateur Surgeon. This game is about twelve kinds of awesomeness.

Ninja Roll
Ninja Roll is a puzzle game. You draw a ramps and paths for a ninja who is in a ball to roll around on and hit all these different dots. If you get your ninja in a ball to get all the dots, you move on to the next level. As the level progresses the maps require you to take physics into account as the dots will be above and/or below you, with obstacles in your path. The camera controls are a little wonky, but the game over all is pretty fun.

Lemonade Stand
So you know every Tycoon game in which you have some sort of business and you have to make money and keep costumers happy and blah blah blah? This is that game… if it were a flash game about a lemonade stand. I can’t really tell you why I am so amused by it, but it can really be addicting… and awesome…. awesomely addicting.

Zombie Wars
Who doesn’t love killing  zombies? Answer: No one. In this game you are a lone gunman facing an entire army of zombies. It’s pretty simple. Kill all the zombies to move onto the next level. As you progress, new zombie types emerge and along with new weapons. Pretty standard, if awesome zombie killing is the standard that is.

Flash Sonic
So, some guy decided he wanted to have a Sonic flash game. Then, he made it. The game has the typical Sonic feel to it and the player can go through authentic looking levels as Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and what ever that bunny was named. This is an excellent choice for those nostalgic of old Sonic.

Kitten Cannon
Fire kittens out of a cannon. Try to make them go as far as you can. The end.